FROM THELMAGAZINE.COM (2006) Zachary: An Introduction Maybe it is the weather or the mayor, the political climate or the copious snow melting into precarious ice but, for whatever reason, in the dead of winter people turn into flakes — listen up, sweetheart: too cold is never an excuse. Oh, but let's not be season-specific: too hot is never a reason, either. Unless we are talking about undressing in public — which brings us to dancing. I am here for all of your bacchanal-news, so this will be the blog you visit daily when work gets banal. I am not much for sleeping, so let my blogs be your one-stop source for all things between 10pm and 8am. A bunch of smug, hipster manqué bloggers will try to grab me by my nascent blogging-feet and shake me upside-down-baby-style... but they will have to find me first, if they every make it to an actual dancefloor. I am the boy on the speaker in the duct-taped-together cowboy boots. This all-hours medium works because the downtown dance scene is a twenty-four hour partymarket. I will not spoil anyone's "surprise guest DJ" fun, but as soon as whomever shows up I will be blogging it. These postings are all about you, darling — written in the argot of the organic, inspired scene that you and I run in. Send me tips, send me love — go dancing with me, walk-homes are free. FROM Theatre World Volume 60: 2003-2004 (2006)
It’s been a year since our little Nightlife Awards experiment succeeded, and this election year, partiers have once again run for their [night]lives. In preparation for November’s slightly more serious Tuesday election, The L’s Nightlife Editor Zachary David Palmer reached across party lines to poll nightlife pundits, themselves line-jumpers. This year’s ballot was updated to reflect both the suggestions and criticisms of the event’s inaugural year, but selecting the winners remained the same: after a lengthy vetting process, panelists were tapped to serve on a party-school version of an electoral college — an Orwellian nightmare where all partiers are equal, but some are more equal than others — given the task of picking winners from the nominees short-listed by the reader’s poll. Now that the conventions are over, catering (spoon-fed, as per money-rules) to the lobbyists, The L ignores the hobbyists and honors nightlife professionals.
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MUSIC
DJ Performance at a park or festival: Paul Van Dyk
In a decade, seeing Paul Van Dyk’s genre-breaking set as the waves of the Hudson River broke not far away might replace our memories of bike-riding on an elementary school summer vacation. Of course, Bruce Springsteen will never write a song about that, but maybe Van Dyk will do a remix of classic Springsteen.
Nominees: BEMF, McCarren Park, Santogold at Summer Stage, Diplo and A-Trak at Summer Stage, Siren
Music Festival: Kevin Saunderson at The Yard
New Song: ‘Kids’, MGMT
We are not sure that this can still be considered new, but it is newish. We are such old men, and did you see what MGMT did to the McCarren Park Pool this summer? We guess it counts... rekLES?
Nominees: Kingdom, Dave Gahan; L.E.S. Artistes, Santogold; Shut up & Let Me Go, The Ting Tings; Paper Planes, MIA; I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You, Black Kids; Electric Feel, MGMT
Record Label: iheartcomix
We love that Interscope was nominated, perhaps we failed in our intention: independent record label. However, look at The Predator (released on Interscope) by Ice Cube, whose early N.W.A. stuff was all DIY. If Johnny Cash wrote the first rap song, congratulations DIY-hipsters, you just maybe commodified out-of-trunk LA and street corner NYC hip-hop for street cred for your noise “project.”
Nominees: DIY, Norton Records, Interscope, DFA, Trouble & Bass, “they all suck”
Last Year’s Winner: Vacancy Records
Rock ‘n’ Roll DJ: Miss Guy
Maybe you heard him at last year’s Nightlife Awards, maybe you have been following him since the 90s, as a DJ and rockstar (the Toilet Böys).
Nominees: Twig the Wonderkid, Michael T, Theo Kogan
Female Hard Rock DJ: Lady Starlight
A write-in award, we are not sure that it makes any difference what equipment you have as a DJ, so long as you know how to use it. Just because you put a woman on a platform does not mean that everyone will like your Party. That goes for John McCain and Sarah Palin, too.
Nominees: Theo Kogan, Carin Shock, Shar Gorgiiss, Lauren Flax
DJ: DJ Jess
So what if he plays too much Morrissey? Jess is the real deal, able to go from The Smiths to electro to mod to punk rock and back to The Smiths in just two steps: a double-shot of The Smiths.
Nominees: Jeremy (DJ Bastard), Jake Destroyer, VDRK, Dimitry!!!, Lauren Flax, Michael T, Twig the Wonderkid
Last Year’s Winner: rekLES
PARTIES
New Party: Disco Down
Hosted by the Glitter Kids, Twig the Wonderkid and DJ Bastard’s electro, disco, rawk and indie Tuesday night party plays revisionist history to the Disco Demolition — punk and disco getting along?
Nominees: Girls & Boys, Minou, Ether, Bottoms Up!, Stereo-Type, Campout
Last Year’s Winner: High Voltage
Party: BYTE
If only every party could be a mix of play areas, pass-out worthy performances, fabulous costumes and songs that are not heard everywhere else.
Nominees: TRASH!, High Voltage, Trouble & Bass, Rated X, Six Six Sick, Fixed, Unstoppable Perfect, Subway Soul Club, The Pull-Out Method, Nacotheque, Stereo-Type, Cheeky Bastard, East Side Social Clvb,
The Panty Raid
Last Year’s Winner: FUN
Gay Night: Sundays at Hiro
One member of the Academy’s “Friday (anywhere)” pretty much captures it, but what Sundays at Hiro does is say: not only do I want to live outside of the marrying public’s norms, but also their work weeks and sleeping schedules. If you can pretend that Hiro is the sandwich, the sandwich being a sub, and then make the jump to a submarine: this party is like Fleet Week every week.
Nominees: The Filthy Party at Metropolitan, Family, Wednesdays at Metropolitan, The Look
Last Year’s Winner: The Factory
Goth (Forgive the Catch-All) Night: BYTE
The best party to which our Nightlife Editor has probably ever been. He passed out, he got a concussion, he saw a knife and whips and leather and a guy rolled up in a carpet. Nevermind the tweaked-out kids spending hours looking like they just woke up, give us a cathartic latex cat-suit (or, for that matter, a guy in a business suit spending money that he actually has at a party) any day.
Nominees: Salvation, SMack!, Weird at Home Sweet Home, Just One Fix, Manic at Trophy, Contempt
Glam-Rock Night: Glamdammit
Twig the Wonderkid and the Astronettes’ party has lasted longer than most of its attendees have been in college. Taking the glam-night format to a higher degree than most of the commodified parties blipping around the scene, this one is stellar.
Nominees: Glamdammit
Underground Party: Famous Friends
Sorry for out’ing you, but now maybe you can live up to your name. Their weekly party at Arlo & Esme received plenty of nods on this ballot.
Nominees: Copy Cat, Minou, Tingle Tangle, Trouble & Bass, Rubalad, BYTE
Party for Live Music (Drumming, Etc.) During and/or Between DJ Sets: Minou
The legacy of SoulPusher lives on, even though it is years gone by. Minou, a quite new party that has tapped into the zeitgeist, comes away with some serious mixed-media of recorded and live music, then.
Nominees: Cheeky Bastard, SoulPusher
Party to be Abjectly Humiliated by the Emcee: Rated X
Anyone who ever went to Motherfucker knows that Formika’s forked tongue speaks volumes. Rated X’s Hot Body Contest is strictly praise-only from the crowd, we have never heard an insult that wasn’t deserved at Rated X. Plenty that were, though.
Nominees: “Where’s Formika?”
Outdoor Party: Sunday Funday at The Yard
Nominees: Sundays Best at The Yard, BEMF, Hope Lounge, High Bar, McCarren Pool, The Yard
Another summer creation sure to replace hazy summer memories — The Yard is one of those places where you get to hear great music and find out what your friends look like in broad daylight.
After Work Party: High Voltage
We are not totally sure how a late-night party came up with this award, perhaps the people have spoken for napping between 6pm and midnight and hitting up the Annex on Wednesday nights as a pre-work event. Or they’re all waitstaff.
Nominees: A Rock and a Hard Place, The Hump at Blue Owl, Danny Krivit at Water Taxi Beach
Party with Live Performances (Music, Otherwise): BYTE
Performances at BYTE are astonishing, those who are in that scene are pleased and those who are only curious are shocked. Any party can have a band that suits a music genre, but BYTE taps into the fetish lifestyle.
Nominees: Minou, TRASH!, Cheeky Bastard, RebelRebel, Rated X, The Rub
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PERSONALITIES
Greatest Living New Yorker: Woody Allen
At first, we were a little hesitant to accept this category — many of the nominees were not particularly in the Nightlife capacity. Good, then, to know that Woody Allen & The Eddy Davis New Orleans Jazz Band are performing every Monday through Decemeber 15th at The Carlyle — 8:45pm, $150, $100, $70; dinner required.
Nominees: Jimmy from Trash & Vaudeville, Michael T, Andy Shaw, Anna Wintour, Twig the Wonderkid, Jayne Country
Last Year’s Winner: Antonio
NewComer: Glitter Kids
A consummate reflection of Salinger-esque Manhattan, The Glitter Kids (Ashley, Kelly and Mikey) are young, beautiful and drunk. Let’s defer to the youth is wasted on the young/if you are not wasted, your day was.
Nominees: Keyle, Lena Utin, Ashley the pirate, Jake D., Charlotte Rose of Luxe, Ruthie (Famous Friends)
Last Year’s Winner: Jason Ultra
Nightlife Photographer: Jess — indierotica.com
Jess’ indierotica.com is full of NSFW pictures of barely-legal (and hardly-legal) partiers. Asked about hate mail in last year’s interview, he responded: Don’t get hate mail. Do get a lot of “If my wife/grandmother/boyfriend/child/boss/pet sees that photo... I’m ruined!”
Nominees: Nicky Digital, Jeff Rhodes, Igor, Nikola Tamindzic, Isabel Belfor, Mr. Photog
Last Year’s Winner: Nikola Tamindzic
Nightlife Icon: Sophia Lamar
“Your [Nightlife Icon winner] not by choice, by demand!” Sophia is a “professional human being” — simultaneously spectacular to look at and lovely to interact with. She has been on the scene since most of her parties’ patrons were in short pants, but she prefers something that shows off her legs in a more flattering manner.
Nominees: Amber Star, Michael T, Nick Zed, Georgie Seville, Larry Tee, Mistress Formika, Amanda Lepore, Justine D.
Last Year’s Winner: Michael T
Go Go Dancer and Burlesque Performer: Amber Star
She can dance, and looks good dancing. Comfortable on just about any surface — stage, bar, dance floor, platform — at ease wearing just about anything, the closer to nothing the better. A staple of New York’s underground parties, legendary.
Go Go Dancer Nominees: Ariel, Abby (Chantilly Lace), Apathy Angel, Lady Starlight, Anna Copa Cabana
Burlesque Performer Nominees: Amber Star, Stormy Leather, Legs Malone, Peekaboo Pointe, Janis DiMilo, Tali De’Mar
Last Year’s Winner, Go Go: Machine Sex
Promoter Most Likely to Coerce You into a Bathroom Stall FOR HIJINKS: Everyone
We have witnessed the coercion, you bet. If a promoter is not promising bathroom-encounters at their events, they are not trying hard enough. If a promoter needs to make good on their promise, they have to do it themselves.
Nominees: Michael T
Promoter: Andy Shaw
The best, not only a competent businessman, but a remarkable human being. His weekly shawpromotion.com email blast goes out to just short of 9,000, and his heart goes out to them all.
Nominees: Famous Friends, Jess, Frances and Lena, Twig the Wonderkid, One Night Stand, Cut, Michael de Guzman, “They’re all drug addicts”
Last Year’s Winner: Andy Shaw
Most Attractive Bartender: “The long-haired model at Beatrice Inn on Fridays”
“The long-haired model at Beatrice Inn on Fridays” is no way to talk about a person. We are sorry, but if it is any consolation all of Manhattan thinks that you are beautiful. We would send our interns on a fact-checking mission, but imagine that if the creeps that we think are at Beatrice Inn are indeed at Beatrice Inn... well, then it is better to leave you anonymous.
Nominees: Aaron (40 C), Robert at Happy Ending, Matt at Union Pool, Mary Kate at Crash Mansion, Lauren Larkin, Maddy Thaler at Royal Oak
Most Attractive Cocktail/Bottle Waitress: Rebel
Rebel is surely not a person, which would lead most to assume we’re talking about the entire cocktail waitress staff as a whole... but, instead, let’s talk about the multi-talented and beautiful Shannon Foster (who we hope, for her talent, is still not there). An actress on stage, too, she is only pretending to flirt with you... the mark of a true professional.
Nominees: Rebel
Drag Performer: Deryck Todd
See him in a dress, and be surprised that he is a boy. Those are his killer legs, but that is not his last name. His rendition of “Rock ‘n’ Roll Suicide” during this past BowieBall was amazing.
Nominees: Trigger, Acid Betty, Rainblo, Epiphany, Peppermint Gummybear
Gender Fuck Performer: Pixie Harlots
Members Jonathan Bastiani, Matthew Crosland, Machine Dazzle, Layard Thompson and Darrell Thorne (choreographed by Julie Atlas Muz and Vanessa Walters) are as ferocious as they are fabulous, somewhere between The House of Ninja and a production of Cabaret staged in the streets of a 1980s Alphabet City.
Nominees: Pixie Harlots
CLUBS
Door Staff: Lit (Matt Kepler)
Formidable without being abominable, professional without losing his sense of humor, Matt Kepler (and the rest of the door staff) keep the riff-raff out while letting the horrorshow in.
Nominees: Annex, 40 C, Ro (Annex, darkroom), Happy Ending, TRASH!, Don Hill’s, “Anywhere but Hiro,” “Rififi when TRASH! was there”
Last Year’s Winner: Rififi
Bar Staff: Le Royale
Some of the fabulous staff from the last few months, and today: Jenna Duffy, Flutura Bardhi and Sam behind the bar, with Esther Flink running bottles, Daniel at the door, Kieren Taylor holding down the fort, Lauren Sieber checking coats, Ariel guarding the back section of the main floor and owner Terry Casey keeping it all in balance.
Nominees: 40 C (Aaron), Happy Ending, Le Royale, Beauty Bar, Matt and Jess at Savalas, The Plumm
Last Year’s Winner: Rififi
Venue-Bar: Beauty Bar
The west side of 14th Street is fabulous: between Lotus (until recently), The Plumm and Country Club, things are astounding out Hudson River way. The east side of 14th Street belongs to Beauty Bar. A mix of kitsch and mixed drinks, with sparkled walls and lights that make everything look like some kind of deep sea fish. The dancing there is amazing, and apparently you can get your nails done and get drunk at the same time.
Nominees: Arlo & Esme, Savalas, Rodeo Bar, darkroom, Union Pool, Black and White, Duff’s
Last Year’s Winner: Rififi
Place to See DJs Spin Vinyl, Dance Floor, and Venue: Santos Party House
With so many listings and such little space, we focus on Sundays at Santos often. Nicky Siano is your resident, Studio 54, he has never stopped. Leave it to a man who learned on vinyl. Of course, the best new venue is one that no one in Manhattan media spells correctly. No apostrophe in the name, no rules on the dance floor: Andrew WK’s new venue is all about bringing fun to the masses, not the “Me!” generation-residuals of other neighborhoods. The volume is loud, the design is loud, the space is voluminous, the dancefloor is epic and the lights are blindingly fantastic, but leave enough darkness for what you are a looking for on a night out.
Place to See DJs Spin Vinyl Nominees: Marquee, Beauty Bar, Studio B, 205, Sundays Best, East Side Social Clvb, Love. Dance Floor Nominees: 40 C, Studio B, darkroom, Touch, 205, Cielo, Annex.
Venue Nominees: The Delancey, Love, Happy Ending, Rebel, Le Royale, Studio B, The Plumm
Last Year’s Winner, Dance Floor: Studio B
Spot to See Breakdancing: McCarren Park Track
The local kids come out in droves, keeping the neighborhood more real in view of a hipster and young professionals invasion. No worries about locking doors, there is locking going on out here. In a borough that most of America associates with breaking and entering, there is breakin’.
Nominees: Rebel, Ninjasonik on Wednesdays at Happy Ending, Hiro on Thursdays
Yuppie-Spotting: Beatrice Inn
“Weekends in Meatpacking,” “weekends in East Village,” and “L Magazine Nightlife Awards Party” are all correct, but Beatrice Inn has a Jacksonville, Florida density of yuppies, neo-yuppies, etc. Bring your field guide, your binoculars and your safari hat. Be careful not to stand too close to the door, they might let you in for irony — if we learned anything from the Reagan 80s (“Just Say ‘No’ to Drugs” and the introduction of crack to inner-cities), it is that yuppies love irony.
Nominees: Hiro, “Manhattan,” Ruff Club, “Weekends in Meatpacking,” “Weekends in East Village,” “L Magazine Nightlife Awards Party”
Spot for Anonymous Sexual Encounters: The Box
If “everywhere” has anything to say about it, everyone is a winner. If Gossip Girl has anything to say about it, The Box (or, the limo you arrive in) is best.
Nominees: Lit, Don Hill’s, Six Six Sick, High Voltage, TRASH!, “everywhere”
Gay Club: The Cock
The name says it all, and the bird above the entrance lights your way.
Nominees: Metropolitan, Splash, Phoenix, HK
Place to Spot Celebrities:
A-List: Beatrice Inn
B-List: Beatrice Inn
C-List: Lit
A-List and B-List: Of course this West Village spot wins.
C-List: Of course this East Village spot wins. How hip and with it everyone is, we are actually shocked it is not the other way around—the A-Listers trying to act tough and the B- and C-Listers social climbing.
Nominees:
A-List: Marquee
B-List: Lit
C-List: Three of Cups
Mixed: Happy Ending, Bowery, Hiro
Post-Breakup Night Out Spot: Death & Co.
It seems pretty reflexive and a little too convenient that one would chose a place with Death in the title for a night of sorrow. But misery does love company.
Nominees: Metropolitan, Lucky Cheng’s, Ruff Club, Chemistry NYC, “Stay home”
“My Significant Other is Out of Town” Spot: Ruff Club
Just stay away from the photographers and the minors.
Nominees: Metropolitan, O’Connors (Brooklyn), Chemistry NYC, Happy Ending, “Stay home,” “When my significant other is out of town, I drug myself until he comes back”
Most Relaxed No-Smoking Policy: Beatrice Inn
This should probably not be published, but we cannot imagine many legal-types are reading the Nightlife Issue to plot their sweeps. Unless those legal types are not cops but libel-watchers.
Nominees: Lit, 205, Annex basement, Le Royale
Venue Decor: Lucky 13 Saloon
A true, blood-in blood-out rock ‘n’ roll establishment with more credibility than maybe all of the LES combined. Posters line every non-floor surface, the floor looks ready for a brawl and half-naked, dancing patrons add to the ambiance.
Nominees: Love, Happy Ending, 205, Le Royale, Bowery Electric, Cielo
Venue That Deserves Getting Dressed Up to Visit: Beatrice Inn
Dress up fancy, there are a lot of new friends to be made—or, at least plenty of strangers to smile at and celebrities to stare at. Unless you are barely out of adolescence or A-list, you had best plan your outfit for Beatrice Inn like you would for your wedding day.
Nominees: Marquee, Gansevoort, Happy Ending, Clover Club
Most Dangerous In-Venue Staircase: Three of Cups
It is dark. You are drunk. Those are not good odds for any staircase. Le Royale is an upset: the main staircase has people throwing themselves down it, staff racing around it, drips humbling up it and people racing toward it from outside, the bathroom and the bar upstairs — oh, and its back staircase is all that, and black as pitch, too.
Nominees: Le Royale, 205, Beatrice Inn, Happy Ending, Rehab, The Pool at QT
Venue with the Most Pretentious Line-Companions: “Who waits in line”
Exactly. If you are standing on line, go home. Not because you are not a wonderful human being who does not deserve admission, but because you are wasting your time. If you are waiting in line outside, you will wait in line inside in some capacity. The people who skip lines know the bartenders and are occupying them with their mixer needs. It is a cycle.
Nominees: Marquee, 205, Santos Party House, Pink Elephant, Hiro
Open Bar: Lit
The drinks are strong, the staff is pleasant, the variety is large. Open bars at Lit, particularly during NC-17, are a 2-for-1 orgy of mixed fluids and poor/pour judgments.
Nominees: Minou, Disco Down, Ether, A Rock and a Hard Place, Zygo (High Voltage), myopenbar.com, “All”
Non-Theater/Concert Venue for Live Performances: Arlene’s Grocery
What it lacks in venue-size, it makes up for in sonic prowess. The engineers are competent behind the sound console, and can turn over a stage quickly enough for you to take a break without losing the crowd to any of the bars within spitting distance.
Nominees: Studio B, Annex, Don Hill’s, Irving Plaza, Bowery Poetry Club, Pianos, Mercury Lounge, Maxwell’s, McCarren Park Pool, Joe’s Pub, Ars Nova, Market Hotel, Death By Audio
Bottle Service Menu: Marquee
Responses to this included, “gross” and “blow me,” but whether or not any of us at The L can afford a bottle is beside the point that Marquee’s menu is top-notch. Keep an eye on our Nightlife section: Zachary likes to list the parties for which he hosts bottle service.
Nominees: Beatrice Inn, Happy Ending, 205
In-House Club Food: Trash Bar in Brooklyn
Whether it is the special events catering that comes out of the room at Don Hill’s (home to the MisShapes’ famous white wall or a full-service kitchen), nothing says healthy like food in the middle of the night, and nothing makes you want to dance like short-ordered food. We could really use a cupcake from Country Club right now, but come midnight Trash’s food (ew?) does just fine.
Nominees: Crash Mansion, Union Hall, Sprinkles cupcakes at Country Club, Pete’s Candy Store, Union Pool (Taco Truck), White Rabbit
Rooftop: The Delancey
In a city filled with skyscrapers, it is always nice to rise up from our five-to-seven-foot frames and scrape a bit of the sky. It sure helps when there are drinks and food to share with friends, scraping together singles to tip the bar staff. The Delancey’s rooftop is high enough from the litter below to make our spirits light, while keeping in view the Williamsburg Bridge so that we can see from whence we came.
Nominees: Studio B, High Bar, 230 5th, 300 CPW, The Hudson, Bar 13
Duly Noted
All-Night Train: “None!”
We still maintain that the D train is the best: there are almost no service changes and even on a Sunday morning it will get you from 59th to 125th in about 10 minutes — if you are going that way. However, the L, J,M,Z, G and R trains smack of a BK- and LES-centric readership. The resounding call of, “None!” figures somewhere between the nominations below for the expensive convenience of a car service and the green-consciousness of bikes.
Nominees: L train, J,M,Z trains, J (singular) train, G train, R train, F train
Last Year’s Winner: A train
Car Service: Bikes
Environmentally and fiscally responsible, hip and quick—there is no waiting for a train or paying for a cab. It is a good thing that that bike lane just got painted along Broadway. Please pedal safely. Does anyone remember Go Home With Someone? The L’s vote goes to RightRides.
Nominees: Metropolitan in Williamsburg, Northside, Arecibo, New Brooklyn, Yellow Cab, 7777777 Carmel
Last Year’s Winner: Taxi
Fashion Trend: Staying In
Spring 2009 Fashion Week has come and gone, and so have the 80s. Get over it. About as much of what was good in 1987 and good at the tents this month is translatable to right now. Glitter is fabulous, neck-braces are mean and exposed chest hair is just gross. Staying in is anti-social, but the choice of Pepsi drinkers (go out and dance, you raging alcoholics).
Nominees: Glitter, neck-brace, boys with exposed chests/low v-necks, large bows, brown leather dress shoes, 80s bathing suits as onesies, being yourself, headbands over foreheads, over-sized glasses, clothing optional, “Anything, but shutter shades,” “Fuck trends,” glowsticks, Pokémon vomit
Last Year’s Winner: Fanny Pack
Post-Clubbing Food: Pizza
Do you want to know what we prefer to do? Starve until we get home (suffering an hour-long train ride) and then gorge ourselves on cereal, PB&J or the sandwich we packed to eat but could not bring ourselves to once we realized how close to home (and bed) we were. That is we as in The L, as a staffer recently wrote, “a container of cottage cheese and eight spoonfuls of hummus, and a glass of milk, and some cashews.” This is obvious staple of middle-of-the-night food and we would like to consider among the winners Ray’s Pizza, along with all of the establishments listed that serve pizza.
Nominees: Ray’s Pizza, Punjabi, San Loco, Yaffa, Around the Clock, 7A
Night to Go Out: Thursday
This is funny, there are only seven to choose from. For most of the working public, only two to choose from —which means that for the Nightlife professionals there are only five from which to choose. L Magazine staffers only party on days that end in Y.
Nominees: Tuesday, Friday, Wednesday, Saturday
Last Year’s Winner: Friday
Mix of Nightlife and Fashion: BYTE
As it should be, this was met with a million nominations. Sadly, most of them are drivel compared to the potential mix of nightlife and fashion. BYTE is the shining example of originality (forgive the rubber/recycling solecism). Songs that you will not hear most anywhere else in a scene that mixes a lifestyle beyond Zygo open bars and fashion beyond American Apparel... the place where Steampunk and Industrial meet in the Empire State.
Nominees: Disco Down, Trouble & Bass, Ruff Club, Fashion Indie, Stereo-Type, TRASH!
Mix of Nightlife and Live Music: Lit
These days, finding an East Village venue doing something worthwhile is rare. Lit manages to keep a balance between Nightlife excesses and artistic catharsis with a cavernous concert set-up in their cave-like basement.
Nominees: Minou, Cheeky Bastard, Phat Baby, Famous Friends Parties, Santos Party House, Studio B
Mix of Nightlife and Art: Lit
Remember when Sonic Youth were playing shows in art galleries? Lit has an on-site art gallery, perfect.
Nominees: Beatrice Inn, Supreme Trading, Arlo & Esme, Stereo-Type, Glasslands, Hugs
Most Thriving Scene: Electro
Seriously? We blame the readers over the panel. What a circle-jerk all of that is. As far as nightlife goes: it fits perfectly.
Nominees: Metropolitan, Williamsburg, Bushwick, “hipster crap,” Ruff, DIY, downtown rock scene
~ ~ ~ ~
The Second Annual L Magazine Nightlife Awards, generously sponsored by KillShopKill and Shaw Promotion, with PR support from R. Couri Hay CPR, was held at Touch on September 16. It featured: Emcees Michael T and Michael Formika Jones. Panelists Michael Gogel, Rachelle J. Hruska, Steve Lewis, Gregory Littley and Stephanie Wei. Presenters Peter Davis, Rachelle J. Hruska, Robbyne Kaamil, Sophia Lamar, Steve Lewis, Michael Musto, NickGQ, Thomas Onorato, Peppermint Gummybear and Stephanie Wei. Performers Bugs in the Dark and Naked Highway. Awards Girls Ariel and Baby Sinead. After Party DJ rekLES. After Party Hosts JE, Mae (Ill P.), One Night Stand’s Jake Destruction, Alex Christian and Chantilly Lace, and Zachary David Palmer... and enough dangling Chads to make you forget the Bush years. ~
Fashion-Crashing Guidelines
10 Secrets for Getting Into Fashion Week Afterparties
by Zachary Palmer
1. Know who is DJ’ing. Start going to their weekly parties tonight. At their own parties, New York DJs are very accessible. Become friends with them (but don’t be sycophantic). Try to sync up with them: eat dinner at the same time, go to bed at the same time. Women: will your cycles to match theirs, and you may find yourself waiting on line just as they are making an entrance. Make sure they see you, and you might get swept inside along with their entourage.
2. Show up alone. Of course, make friends with the people in front of you. One of them might be able to help you out, either because of who they are or because no doorman wants to deal with everyone in the line banding together with cries of “let him in, let him in.” Also, you might be able to get some freelance work from the editor behind you.
3. It seems like a long shot, but if the curbside synchronicity is there, pull a DIY house-show courtesy move and offer to help carry an amp, er, crate of records (er, case of CDs). Carrying something heavy is always a good credibility-builder and crowd-parter. My favorite last resort is to chase down the DJ and tell them how much coverage that you are going to give them in a forthcoming issue of The L Magazine.
4. Very simply, know which line is which: pay attention to the door staff as they explain which line is guest list only, on-call, etc.
5. Do not try to skip the line. Independent of the fact that this is a red flag, if you are not on the list, the least you can do is wait (bring this feature along with you to memorize as you do so). The trick here happens before you approach: feel out the line from across the street. Approach from the side opposite the line/the shorter line. That way you have to pass by the door staff on your way to the back of the line. Perhaps there will be either a moment of recognition or a panicked scream of, “I need his look in here, now!”
6. If the doors have not yet opened, and you recognize a familiar face on the door staff, ask if there is anything you can do to help out. On the night of Courtney Love’s Cheeky Bastard performance, I (fireguard license in hand) cleared the street, repeating some form of the following, “Hi, I love you and do not want for you to get run over, also, if the cops come and see you all standing here, the party will be shut down.”
7. Once the doors open, be prepared with your reason for being allowed in without being on a list. Know who you’re talking to, do not tell the doorman you’re on so-and-so’s list only to have him explain that it is he who is so-and-so. You should know some trivia about the DJs, performers and designer. The door staff has better things to do than quiz you, but throwing out a random fact might add authenticity to your #1 Fan foam finger.
8. Your buddy inside cannot get you in and if he has not already put you on a list, he does not have a list. Save your breath. Speaking of not lying: tell the truth throughout, about your age and connections. Even if you are no one, being caught in the truth always goes further than being caught in a lie and being told to leave the line.
9. If you do make it in, you will immediately find yourself among the anonymous, unrecognizable proletariat. The VIP area is your next target. Either make friends with the bouncer (in advance) or find the party’s host. After explaining who I was at the 2006 F/W Heatherette party, Susanne Bartsch (while money fell from the ceiling) handed me a VIP wrist band.
10. All of the tragicomedy and drama aside, a Fashion Week party is not a movie. Going home, putting on a disguise and coming back is not going to fool anyone. Going home, changing into something fabulous and coming back… well, maybe.
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Three Questions for Stylish New Yorkers
1. Is the hipster dead?
2. Where’s the best place in New York to spot real trend-setters?
3. What’s the most fabulous fashion item you’ve ever worn or owned?
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MICHAEL T.
Terrifically fond of cowboy boots, Michael T. is a legendary promoter-DJ whose more infamous current projects include: Rated X: The Panty Party (on hiatus until September) and Motherfucker.
1. Yes, the hipster is dead, the few that remain are “undead” like zombies. Although instead of eating your flesh they eat up your drink tickets and guest list... vile creatures.
2. In a photo, from 1979 and before. Clearly there is no “trend setting” in New York these days. Have you seen the “fashion of the youth”? Headbands and hanging belts... pathetic!
3. Well, I own several fabulous items, my dear. However, if I don’t own it, trust me, it’s not that fabulous.
SOPHIA LAMAR
Transsexual nightlife, fashion, music and film-theater diva, prolific beyond belief, Lamar is a Renaissance man-turned-woman.
1. No. What is dead is the term “hipster.” People think that emos, bike messengers, postpunks, rockers, nerds and everybody they do not look like is a hipster.
2. At the Misshapes party — that’s where fashion editors go for inspiration.
3. That is hard for me to answer. I have a lot of “fabulous” items, but sometimes I feel fabulous with just a piece of fabric around me. Fabulous is a state of mind.
MISS GUY
DJ and lead singer of the Toilet Boys, see Miss Guy at The Factory (Tuesdays at Lotus).
1. Let’s hope so.
2. On the street. ALWAYS!
3. Sprouse or Westwood. The two greatest designers ever!
SEAN FIGHTCATS!
Along with S.Valentine, Sean Fightcats! is one third of the Ruff Kids, while, in his own right, he is pushing the t-shirt toward couture-notability.
1. No, I saw him in front of Cake Shop, thinking it was Williamsburg.
2. Suite Orchard, at Orchard and Rivington.
3. A t-shirt.
BRION ISAACS
Drummer for 33hz and co-founder/producer of Shindig!, Brion has a motorcycle in his apartment, so we hear.
1. The hipster is a general word I never liked. There is the lame thirty-something hipster, the indie-rock hipster, the Misshapes hipster, etc. Every single person fits into some label one way or another and there is no way of escaping it. To ask if the “hipster” is dead is like asking if the frat boy is dead — and we both know that he will be with us till the last kegstand.
2. Shindig or a 33hz show.
3. Frank Sinatra’s fedora, though I don’t actually wear it, it just sits on my dresser.
ANDY SHAW
Promoter extraordinaire, he is the man behind Shaw Promotion; it is he (and his street team) who hands you event fliers every night of the week.
1. Nothing ever really dies in New York. Things just evolve and morph into something else. The term “hipster” has been so overused and abused that it has pretty much lost its original meaning and been replaced with a general broad description of a certain demographic. But it’s like a joke now — no hipsters will admit that they are hipsters. Cuz after all, who likes to be categorized… and I don’t believe most of the people even know what a real “hipster” is anymore. Is the hipster dead? No. It’s greater than ever but in different forms and definitions and most people are one. Everyone likes to be hip on some level or another.
2. I sometimes have a hard time telling the difference between trend setters, posers and cheese balls. In terms of fashion, I guess all the usual places, downtown and Williamsburg. But in terms of the real deal, it’s the people who spent enough quality time on their own, discovering, creating and inventing things. Some of the greatest minds I have met weren’t anyone popular, or even cared to be. But NYC is the place.
3. I’m a practical guy. I don’t know or care to wear the most fabulous fashion items, but I do carry more shit than most on my belt: an Elvis Presley pocketknife, a camera, and, the most useful thing I have ever carried, a flashlight — all on my belt. I use all three all the time. Another “fabulous fashion item” I own, I guess, is my Triumph motorcycle. But again, it’s practical. It’s my ride and I get everywhere in ten minutes. Subway’s for suckers.
CHRIS ROVZAR
Onetime Daily News gossip guru, now Online Editor of NYMag.com
1. My boyfriend lives on Ludlow and Rivington, and the kids there seems to be sort of overdone — as though someone had a big Halloween street party and told everyone to dress as a hipster. I guess that’s one sign of the demise of the genre, but Nantucket has been around for years and preppy somehow isn’t dead. So who knows? Also — I think the Misshapes Retrospective book that’s coming out pretty much says the party’s over.
2. I think the real place to see trendsetters is in Nolita, where people dress up to go shopping. It’s always a mix of high and low fashion. Anything more gritty makes me want to shower.
3. I have this amazing black-and-red checkered barncoat from LL Bean circa 1978. I’m pretty sure not one single person in the city has one like it. Suffice to say, I never wear it.
REBECCA TURBOW
Owner of the clothing line Safe by Rebecca Turbow
1. I don’t think so. Not yet anyway.
2. I guess that would still be Williamsburg and the Lower East Side.
3. I can’t think of just one thing. My white knee high Sigerson Morrison boots are pretty fabulous. It’s hard to find a good pair of white boots.
ELISE CHANG
Currently employed by the illustrious Andy Warhol Foundation
1. Like the living dead!
2. Quiet streets on bright days.
3. Red, white and blue Nike Airs.
RACHEL FELDER
Fashion and beauty writer extraordinaire
1. Hipsters are alive and well. After a summer of European festival hopping and relaxing in Cornwall and Majorca, they’ll be back soon.
2. Inside their rent stabilized sublets, or on their occasional trips out to the Red Hook Ball Fields, Jeffrey New York, art galleries in Chelsea, Salvor Kiosk, or to JFK to wait for a flight to Marfa, Mexico City, or Mumbai.
3. The most fabulous fashion item: My mother’s Emilio Pucci cotton shift, purchased at Saks Fifth Avenue circa 1966: it still looks great and is worth every high-end dry cleaning bill it takes to keep it that way.
S. VALENTINE
T-shirt designer and, along with Sean Fightcats!, one-third of the Ruff Kids, S.Valentine drinks straight from the bottle.
1. I’m hungry, I just ate too much Chinese food. I’m so high. Jesus. POT COOOKIES! Hipsters dead? Huh?? I want fooood, not dead hipsters.
2. Ask me where I’ll be later on.
3. She was blond.
Party Tracker: Blonde on Blonde
by Zachary Palmer
Lonely and looking for something to do, tired of feeling like you are stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis blues again? Don your Lonsdale and your leopard-skin pill-box hat and dance to a Captain Arab-arabesque, one which turns Jayne and Mansfield into visions of Johanna. International flaxen-haired DJing duo Lady Bree and Miss Harry Flowers--visions of beauty in a DJ booth, Sharon st"One of Us Must Know (Sooner or Later)"-styled femme fatales behind the ones and twos--spin rock 'n' roll, garage, punk, girl groups, glam, indie and shoegaze. Keeping rap to another red riding 'hood, these residents-as-Rapunzels keep the sleeping residents of their parties' hoods asking themselves "ain't it just like the night to play tricks when you're trying' to be so quiet?" Their bombshells of hits create a Rainy Day Women #12 & #35-24-36 measurements of 33 1/3 rotations per minute which has me all right with you pledging my time to them.
Putting the Absolut in absolutely sweet Marie, Erik and nikkisneakers pour the poisons that keep you tumbling about just like a mattress balances on a bottle of wine.
Whether this is your first or fourth time around the block, find a sad eyed lady of the lowlands and tell her I want you, when the blonde bombshell blows up in your face run to your buddies complaining of her being just like a woman--a Jean Harlow-looking hall of mirrors.
Have a drink for courage, then find yourself nearly-invincible--temporary like Achilles--on the dance floor, surrounded by Marilyn Monroe-fashioned "Why, Chanel No. 5, of course" strange bedfellows, obviously 5 believers all. Come some time between 3:30 and 4am, mostly likely you'll go your way (and I'll go mine).
And now, the feature using all of the words which can be made from Blonde:
On Sunday and Wednesday nights instead of nodding off in your bed, be all you can be by making your body bend in dance and drink at Blonde on Blonde--a party which refuses to blend in, where your DJs Lady Bree and Miss Harry Flowers blend rock 'n' roll, garage, punk, girl groups, glam, indie and shoegaze. If you have made bold moves and managed to neither have bled out from a dance-related broken bone nor have run into some girl who you once boned, nights out such as these bode well for your week.
Put down the bole, don some duds and take out your deb (as in, debutante) for a night out on the town and away from your apartment above a crack den, to spots where music plays at various levels of bel. Dole out for your blonde and do whatever your doe-eyed beauty wants done in the ebon corners that resemble the dungeons of eld.
En-dash out for a night that will not be done before amateur enol turns into a marriage annuled. Your DJs have spent an eon or so in front of their LED-lit mixing boards spinning Led Zeppelin, and lo and behold they lend their talents to your left and right ear lobe, lob your keys to your designated driver blond Ben (better yet, take either the El--the J,M,Z--or L trains), lobed to hear when you have had too much. Knowing that these venues are a lode of debauchery, do not be a lone dancer. Neb and hands-outstretched, do not say no to any noble offers, just nod yes to a node (as in, intersecting/connecting!), and find yourself in a cheer usually found around Noel. Beware the od and bond of women, and be careful not to O.D. We do not want to have to sing an ode to your memory until you are very old. I have gone on too long, this has to end.
Blonde on Blonde
Sundays at Lit, Wednesday at Hugs
10:30pm, FREE
93 Second Ave, between E 5th and E 6th Sts
108 N 6th St, between Berry St and Wythe Ave
Mermaid Parade Ball
by Zachary Palmer
The Outside Talker promises that this ten-in-one will showcase a Gypsy Rose Lee-crew's worth of illustrated women drawing attention to all of their skin, not just their tattoos--jumping off the page and whipping their tassels 'round like the Cyclone and batting their lashes up-and-down faster than the Wonder Wheel pitches riders through the air. Putting the tits in downtown institution, Starshine Burlesque takes over the stage as Coney Island staples Little Brooklyn, Creamy Stevens, Amber Ray, Jo Boobs, Bunny Love and Bambi the Mermaid perform dance noir in the shadow of the Coney Island Parachute Jump. An aquarium art installation adds to the display--an expo of exhibitionism, the Outside Talker exhorts that immediately following the 26th Annual Mermaid Day Parade, the 6th Annual Mermaid Ball (official after party, and benefit for not-for-profit arts organization Coney Island USA which presents the parade, Coney Island Circus Sideshow, Coney Island Museum and Coney Island Film Series) features live electric-chair acts/electric sets from KUDU and Foreign Islands, and dance music from a trident of DJing acts: Jack Fetterman and Meat Mistress, Dances with White Girls and Paddy Boom. Go-Go sensations Gal Friday and La Maia perform, and sideshow star Adam the First Real Man hosts this Anything Goes affair where the ethanol flows like waves beating against the They Shoot Horses, Don't They?-like shore. Mermaids and Mermen from the sea, those who feel like manatees and sea cows in the city, will take a trip up from the beach and ariel photographers will come indoors to be part of that [Red, Hot and Blue] world. With special thanks to Taconic Investment Partners, and sponsorships from Brooklyn Brewery, Coney Island Lager and Wine Cellar Sorbet.
Mermaid Parade Ball
June 21
5pm to midnight, 16 to enter; 21 to drink, $10 advance at
mermaidparadeball.com; $15; $50 VIP
Child's Restaurant Building, at the Boardwalk and W 21st St
To read Zachary Palmer's feature on Marc-Alan Gray and Michael Gogel's TheJUMP! (June 11 at REBEL, for complimentary admission rsvp to tellme@marc-alan.com), visit thelmagazine.com
Toilet Böys and GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!
by Zachary Palmer
Looking like they are about to walk into the 90s-era Squeezebox (or, out of the recent documentary), a motley crue of 1920s-styled Flappers, air bled with calibrated orifices (a type of toilet flapper, I promise), are que'ing up for DJ Miss Guy and Michael Economy's new party. Bowery Electric is the place for such an eclectic electric party featuring an eloquently executed elocution of girl groups — from Mae West and Nancy Sinatra, to Sister Sledge and The Gossip.
Miss Guy was the infamous front-man of the Toilet Böys, this new weekly is a salve from the toils of the workweek — where you can let the bathroom humor run free.
Fix your hair up like it was swirlie'd and throw on powder to give your face a flushed appearance, grow your handle bar moustache out and show off your plumber butt — plunge into the bass-y depths of nightlife.
A party for the in-the-Closet Ring and Billy Bolt Set who throw up the ROY G. BIV colors of the hanky code while dancing to DJ sets featuring the girl groups of the 50s and 60s to which everyone knows the tablature, run a bar tab toward getting tanked on swill before 5 days of your day job.
Dear rim of society, bowl'ed over from siphoning liquor and looking for trim, do a lid and hold the ballcock, then clean yourself off for the rest of the week with a large white tablet.
GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!
9pm, FREE
Sundays at Bowery Electric
327 Bowery, between E 2nd and E 3rd Sts
With a Rebel Yell
by Zachary Palmer
The talent roster looks like a grocery list — a menu of DJs (Marc-Alan Gray, Paddy Boom, Jesse Murphy, Fancy, Stretch Armstrong, Alexander Technique, Rok One, Van Scott, Morsy & Kestar, DJ Elle, Dopplehertz, Bad Decision and Heartme!) serving up set lists that will have people lined up around the corner, both walk-ups and those who rsvp'd. To get tapped by doorman Thomas Onorato, the former better be wearing a packing list's worth of Fashion Editor-approved pieces.
Forget dishing on the music and the crowd, a laundry list of media folks will be looking to air the dirty laundry of the escapades of your hosts (Michael Gogel, Richie Rich, Deryck Todd, Zachary David Palmer, Nicole Nelch, Jeremy Asgari, Darryl Nau, Jake Destruction & Captain Al, Nick the Duke, Flute Bardhi, Daniel rekLES [Happy Birthday!], Mike Dextro, Vasili Gavre, Kieren Taylor, Lee Trice, Arthur Rutledge, Destiny, Tim Sharp, Jenna Duffy [Happy Birthday!], House of Bath, SMBLC, Cindy Kim, Daniel Barbosa, Steve Martinek and ModelsHotel) — all looking to make true your wishlists, and add notches on their nightstands from the people listed on the rsvp guest list—a veritable to-do list — who will be clamoring for goodies from Name Ribbon, Kill Shop Kill and URB Magazine. Bridging the gap between up- and downtown styles of nightlife, URB Magazine, GGLAMM (Marc-Alan Gray and Michael Gogel) and CHANGEZ LE BEAT present a glamorous new monthly event that is a mash of music, fashion and art, an all that glitters is lamé event which promises to be short-listed on the best-of lists and annual round-ups of lifestyle editors.
Photographers Paolo and Nicky Digital capture what would certainly fill a WireImage-style worst- and best-dressed list from partiers downing drinks during the 10 to 11pm open bar, and document what ensues from $5 cosmos and $5 beer and whiskey shots all night. For complimentary admission, get on the list: rvsp to tellme@marc-alan.com.
June 11
Rebel, 10pm
251 W 30th St, between Seventh and Eighth Aves
Sex and the City premiere party, May 29 at The Plumm (246 W 14th St, between Seventh and Eighth Aves)
by Zachary Palmer
I seriously need to take a break from watching, between The CW11 and TBS, one-and-half hours of Sex and the City reruns every night, so my sister Ashley (of Darren Star's short-lived Kitchen Confidential) and I are heading to the Sex and the City premiere party.
Just before midnight, as we arrive at The Plumm from the east (knowing that the red carpet and velvet ropes open to the west), I send a text message to R. Couri Hay Creative Public Relations' Marie Assante. A Big night, glitterati, literati, hipster litter and chick lit mothers with their own litters are on line; in front of the club, fashion blogger/photographer Scott Schulman is shooting Fashion Inc.'s Lauren Goldstein Crowe. Although it is a school night and early still, Consuelo Ruybal and Oraia Reid's RightRides is at the ready.
From inside the club, Marie comes out into the box to meet us. She is standing with doormen King (no relation to Michael Patrick King), who would not remember me and Onorato Wixom's Thomas Onorato — dealing with someone who obviously did not read Glen Belverio's Confessions from the Velvet Ropes — who, otherwise, would.
Dodging the usual front-of-house street theatre performance:
Me: I am The L Magazine's Nightlife Editor.
Doorperson: Elle magazine has a Nightlife Editor?
Me: Not the fashion magazine, the bi-weekly publication.
Doorperson: Elle is bi-weekly?
Me: Yes, the one which is the letter L is bi-weekly.
Doorperson: The L Word? That is a weekly show.
[...]
We enter the club just before now-outed Cynthia Nixon gets out of a limo and approaches the Chris Noth co-owned club, as Elle Decor's Elizabeth Stamp gets stamped. On the club's ground level, models/DJs Sky Nellor and Shandi Sullivan who are trading fours all night, are deafening a million PR reps to whom I owe emails, promise to thank in print. Playgirl Editor-in-Chief Nicole Caldwell speaks with Playboy's Editorial Director Chris Napolitano while I, of The L, with William Norwich's "Hello-Bent" piece from the current Vogue in mind, but with kisses all around, approach a table of current- and former-Elle staffers: Lindsay Anmuth, Jen
Gerson, Anne Slowey, Joe Zee and Robbie Myers--who is talking to Mediabistro.com's Laurel Touby, like a revisitation of their summer 2006 interview on Amy Palmer's New York 360. The front door is a revolving door of it's own, all of the gossip columnists coming through could create their own mythological Medea Bistro.
Their table is separated from other publishing houses--like tables in high school, the Condé Nast cafeteria. Axl Rose and Tommy Hilfiger are seated on opposite sides of the room; Teen Vogue's Andrew Bevan, Evonne Gambrell, Aya T Kanai, Jane Keltner, Maura Lynch, E.J. Samson and Lindsay Talbot are seated together. In front of the DJ booth, I see both The L and Lucky's own Laurel Pinson with co-workers Cat Marnell, Kathryn Irby and Blake English, and former L-staffer Kathira Romero. We three all have histories with Atrium Staffing, and the Atrium ladies are out in full force.
Former-L intern Julia Standefer and her sister Lily, both models and brilliant women otherwise, are watching Mario Cantone Vogue, while I look to see if Candace Bushnell can dance. Kristin Davis has not yet shown, Sarah Jessica Parker's Manolo Blahnik'd feet are planted — avoiding a 600 degrees fire of Kevin Bacon plate of Footloose jokes, and Kim Cattrell looks less 1998 SatC and more 1987 Mannequin: fabulous. My fantasy accessories/fashion PR company client roster is seated together: the Beckermans, Pretty Black's Lucy Carr-Ellison, BLEIGHM's Miranda Laughlin, Lulu Frost's Lisa Salzer, AbiGrl's Abigail Seligsohn, Alex Silva and Safe's Rebecca Turbow.
BlackBook's Nick Haramis is wearing red suspenders, Prada's Michael Aguilar is in Prada. Hattie Gruber (in $795 Christian Louboutin shoes) and Lauren Painter (from Barneys) sit with Matthew Hampton (from Macy's) and Time Inc.'s James Brooks; Rebecca Steuer and Style.com's Ashley Granata visit them and the booth looks like Marc-Alan Gray's currently-homeless Changez Le Beat. Later, I see Men.Style.com's Tyler Thoreson and Ashley talking about the Norman Invasion of 1066 and Parisian fashion coverage coming out of 1166 Sixth Avenue, the CondéNet building.
Esther Flink, the most attractive cocktail waitress I have ever seen (back from teaching in Korea for a night), passes by me with a bottle of Grey Goose in a bucket of ice as Asia Baker, Valerie Boster, Catherine Piercy, Sally Singer (all Vogue staffers) and Candice Bergen (who just plays one on TV) enter. A masthead's worth of editors, their work Jackson Pollock-style, Valentino-red paint drips on the pages of fashion magazines, are toasting champagne on the dance floor and eating Jack Berger-themed cheddar jack burgers from caterer dana & david's trays. Carissa Rosenberg, Seventeen's Entertainment Director, is laughing with Jill Demling, Vogue's Entertainment Editor, and both look sincerely happy together, although neither look particularly entertained by the hordes of people pushing them into the foliage of dance floor's potted plants. Meg Gruppo, Lisa Iadanza and Marianne Hart (with Condé Nast HR until recently, now with Polo Ralph Lauren) are having a Human Resources heart to heart; For Full Frontal Fashion, Patrick McMullan is interviewing tonight's host George Wayne, and Billy Farrell of PMC shoots Patrick McDonald, Kenny Kenny, Susanne Bartsch and Amanda Lepore--who is looking at either David LaChappelle and a girl from Myspace or Richie Rich, Traver Rains and Patricia Field. I overhear Richie repeating the rumor going around that fashionista grindcore group The Feminist Movement is playing tonight. I disabuse him of this, but tell him to get in contact with me about
them playing during Fashion Week.
Rich Aybar, Kim Stolz and Nadine Johnson schmooze, applaud Jonathan and Melissa — my favorite dance party couple (they also exist in real life)--who are dressed (costumes, wigs and fat suit) like 'Paradise By the Dashboard Light'-era Meatloaf (with Ellen Foley) — only Julia Dasher of Harper's Bazaar and, later, Jessica Matlin and Lindsey Palmer have the courage to approach them, I wonder if they know that four of the five of them work in the same castle.
I pass by my sister who shouts, incredulously and sympathetically, that she saw freelance make-up artist Claudia Lake cornered into giving free make-up tips in the restroom. I see Sally Singer from across the room, but cannot catch up with her to pitch my Street (Gang) Fashion feature.
With so many proper nouns and models to mention, the party is starting to look like the Nell's chapters in Bret Easton Ellis' American Psycho: May Andersen, Gina Marie Busch, Deborah Cohen, Melissa D and Agyness Deyn are trying to get drinks, crowding toward the bar behind NYLON's Online Editor Faran Krentcil, and Tangie Silva and Ashley Baker (Fashionweekdaily.com, et al.), while Details' Katie Hintz and Matthew Marden repeat for the bartender the specifics of their drink orders.
Down by coat check, I run into Condé Nast Traveler's Tracy Shone, W's Carolyn Angel and Vanity Fair's Ian Bascetta, all of whom I met checking coats and taking names in the Don Hill's cloakroom. They tease me over my "today the cloakroom, tomorrow the Vogue fashion closet" metaphorical back piece.
In the back booth, co-owners Noel Ashman and Damon Dash play up the closeness of names between Carrie Bradshaw and Aiden Shaw, and Essan Laurent, smelling of Estee Lauder, poses--long red hair an arabesque
of Sarah Jessica's length, Cynthia's color, Kristin's texture and Kim's body.
[Cut to my computer screen]
With all of the drama surrounding it, will the romantic comedy of the summer be a tragedy?